Glow Stick Pyro Nic and Kelly-girl Cosmic Doll
The First Superheros Of Techno Music
Remember how Spiderman gained his powers after being bitten by a radioactive spider? Well, poor Nic wanted to be a pyro computer hacker, a superhero of cyberspace, but unfortunately for him, he was hopelessly computer illiterate. After flunking out of computer programming school, he took a job in a glow stick factory. The owners of the factory were evil, and ran the plant like it was in a third world country. Nic worked long hours under unsafe conditions collecting glow sticks just to make ends meet. One day, right before break, one of the computers malfunctioned, accidentally filling his water bottle with the active ingredient in glow sticks. Cracked-out from the toxic fumes in the plant, Nic never noticed the green solution glowing in his bottle. Nic drank the solution and the radioactive isotopes started making strange changes to his body chemistry. He felt an incredible burst of strength, speed and rhythm, not to mention he started glowing green. The solution gave Nic great powers of D.J.'ing and he'd glow bright green when spinning a really hot mix. That's how Glow Stick Pyro Nic, the first superhero of techno, was born.
Like all superheros Glow Stick Pyro Nic had a fatal weakness. Superman's weakness was Kryptonite, Nic's weakness was his life energy now had the duration of your average glow stick. That is, without a glow stick "fix," ingesting the green fluid every six to twelve hours, he'd start shakin' like a junky, his glow would fade, he'd become weak, and eventually die. He now was an addict, a weird green glowing superhero junky freak.
Every Superman has his Lois Lane and Nic's true love was Kelly-girl Cosmic-doll. While D.J.'ing he'd watch Kelly-girl sucking on her pacifier like a love guppy, gently swaying her glow sticks to the groove like the tentacles of some beautiful phosphorescent sea-anemone. To get Kelly-girl's attention (and to see her really shake it), Nic started spinning his best mix: the highly-chaotic, fractal-based Mandelbrot Beat. It worked. Their eyes locked, and in a vicious cycle, the hotter Nic spun, the more Kelly-girl would shake it, which inspired Nic to push the music even further. Finally Kelly-girl gave her butt one extra hyper-extended shake, UMPH! and it started a whole chain reaction. Everyone at the party went crazy, dancing and waving their glow sticks around like sub-atomic particles in a nuclear reactor about to explode. The mix became hotter and hotter it sounded just like air raid sirens, ...r r rrrRRRRAAAA a a a ! linoleum tiles ripped up off the floor as people frantically moved their feet to the music. Suddenly, the dance floor erupted and was blown away as the entire event melted down right to the hard-core.
The music absorbed more of Nic's energy then he had realized. He became faint, his glow started to fade...he was going to die. Nic vaulted over his turntables and jumped into the crowd. Crashing through cuddle puddles, Nic desperately grabbed peoples' glow sticks, braking them open and greedily gobbling down the glowing liquid. Ravers stared in amazement as he poured shards of broken glass down his throat along with the solution. Most of the glow sticks where already used up and Nic was fading fast. Laying on the dance floor, right as he was about to lose consciousness, Kelly-girl Cosmic Doll came to his rescue. Leaning over him with her ample supply of glow sticks (and a little cleavage) she nursed him back to life. Regaining his strength Nic got up, hugged Kelly-girl Cosmic Doll as a thank you and there, on the totally trashed dance floor, they fell in love.
It was meant to be. By day, Kelly-girl worked as a "Kelly Girl" service temp computer programmer. Nic and Kelly joined forces to become a superhero techno music team, fighting evil glowstick corporations by hacking their computer systems. After breaking into a system, Kelly-girl would place her radioactive glowsticks around the machine like sticks of dynamite as Nic would run his high-speed, highly-chaotic music sequences freaking out the machine until it melted down like some third-world nuclear reactor. So not only would they destroy an evil computer system, they would also would generate a kick-ass dance track as well, RIGHT ON!
created by the phosphorescent light of Saturday morning cartoons
by tj richter
© Month Day, Year Theodore J Richter